Although I maintained communication with my siblings and family in England I did not know them well, and certainly had no bonding with my mother. I naturally felt distant and an outsider in relation to my other siblings. However, years later Mommy became sick and needed care and I felt it was my duty to look after her.
I applied for Leave to Remain in England and spent nine years caring for Mommy, day and night. The pandemic, Covid, made matters worse because it got to a stage when Mommy was too sick to be at home so she was admitted into the hospital where the restrictions meant no visitors. As her carer I was exempt, and as I was at her beside constantly, they gave me a bed so I was able to stay permanently in the hospital. There was a moment when Mommy looked me in the eye, and with tears rolling down her cheeks, shook her head and said “I am sorry”, and I replied “it’s ok I forgive you and I am here for you”.
It got to a point where they could do no more for my mother so we agreed for her to return home. All the family gathered around Mommy, including my son, he is now 31 year old grandson, and we were able to share the last three days of her life. Alone I observed Mommy pass away in the early hours of the morning. She gradually faded away in three phases of breathing until her last breath was taken at around 4am. I felt a total loss; I hugged her, maybe as tight as she hugged me at age 22, and cried.